After another rough night's work, Alexander William Gaskarth finds himself opening the door to his small studio apartment in New York City, plopping himself down on the couch to eat some Ben & Jerry's, watch some late night Fresh Prince, and wonder how he ever got such into such a mess. It wasn't always like this, he used to be in a great band with his best friends. Life was perfect. They toured the world, had the greatest fans imaginable, a ton of money, incredible parties with tons of booze and even more sex. Life was perfect. But now, Alexander the Great is confined to a world of modeling for PlayGirl, and working at a strip club. He has become accustomed to wearing nothing but a leather horse bridle and socks. You see, after his band mates walked into their hotel room one night and found Alex deeply concentrating on an orgy with all of their girlfriends, mothers, and sisters, they decided that was the last straw. They disowned Alex forever, told everybody that he molested small girls at shows, and was now in jail forever, with no visitation rights at all, got everyone to believe them, and threw Alex out of his own house. Alex soon found himself begging in the streets for money, eating trash out of garbage cans, drinking gutter water, and sleeping for money. After getting hit on by a narc, Alex ran away on a train where he fell asleep, and only got off when he woke up. His days are lonely and very naked, and he didn't mind that much for a while, but after the herpes medication started to lose the effect, he realized he was doomed. Now that he was also covered with tattoos where the sun don't shine, he realized this may not be attractive once it becomes too painful to shave down there. And yet, another day gone with the same routine of sex, modeling, and stripping under the pseudonym of Alejandro Thraksag. Poor, Poor Alejandro. What will he do once he turns ugly?
***High five to anyone who knows where the title is from.